Wolfen.

Why are you still talking and asking and saying that you're concerned?
When you're more concerned with clawing out my eyes and cracking open my chest?
You won't be happy until you're wearing my insides like a merit badge.
I can read the malice in your hateful squint eyes while you stare.

Does your sheep's clothing ever get itchy?

I don't really know where I'm going with this. Besides the fact that I couldn't stop singing it over and over on the way to Bloomington Saturday night.

In the Event That I Get Married....

I think that the only way anyone would get me to wear a wedding ring is if it's THIS ONE.

Superheroes Are Just In It For The Ass

Just once you happened to be in the right place at the right time. Doing the right thing feels so nice. But then the rewards start to come rolling in.

Mmmmmmmm… Attention of the kind it felt like you always lacked. Now the girl treats you like her Tiger Beat pin up screaming her love in the street.

Save one dumb broad once and she starts roaming the streets in a wedding dress, a cardboard sign proclaiming you oh so dreamy though the only face she knows is the latex one. She’s in love in love in love and gets reckless so you’ll HAVE to save her. And you’re in love in love in love with the attention.

You’ve become a whore for saving the world, not knowing where else to look for meaning. But you give up on the world and focus on the girl. Peter Parker let Gwen Stacey go for the good of the city. If it weren’t for that hack journalist twat Lois Lane, you wouldn’t be doing good. (We all know she has the grammar of a twelve year old.)

So Clark Kent, fuck you. Spread ‘em wide and let the whole schtick in. If it weren’t for that, you’d be empty. Let it fill you up. We all know you’re really just a huge fucking pussy.

How To Welcome The Year You're Pretty Sure Will See You Plathing Out

1. Get a good friend to come to your house.
2. Go with aforementioned friend to obtain a mass amount of champagne and confetti poppers
3. Down most of a bottle of champagne, one sparks, and some rum 'n cider.
4. At midnight run around in the front yard with aforementioned friend and a sibling trying to catch as much confetti as possible on your head. Take photos. (Did I mention you should also have sparklers?)
5. Friend will go home.
6. IM the person you are dating to let this person that you are covered confetti and you want to kiss him/her and also that this not seeing him/her for eight weeks and counting fucking sucks hard.
7. Receive some great drunk dials.
8. Finally pass out hoping you don't wake up in the morning.